a sky that nothing wants to fly in

by: _______

Y

ou know those nights when you just feel like running away? You don’t know where you’re going, or why your running, but you know you just can’t stay where you are. I feel the need for change. Or you’re running from change. When that someone in your head gets to you and you can’t get them out of your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. All you can do is run.

      Sometimes I have a habit of being sad when everything is happy. I don’t know why I feel like this and sometimes I even wish I had something to be sad about so that I could at least have a reason for sadness. But I don’t. I would be around so much love and happiness, yet feel so alone and out of place. As if I am never meant to be satisfied. 

       At times I feel abandoned, like everyone is in their own little worlds and I’m left on earth by myself. But in reality, I’m probably the one in her own world and the real world is going on around me, but I just see right through it. I wish I just knew what was at the center of my unhappiness. I need the key to unlock the riches of what would satisfy me. 

Is it a boy? 

Is it love? 

Friendship? 

Family?

      A belonging that has a big sign in front of it that says “I Belong Here”? Whatever it is, I am determined to find out what it is, and I will use it for its power to make me feel like I am not on a cloud that sees everything going on around me, but I just can’t fully grasp the reason why I feel like I’m floating away in a different wind current then all the other clouds in the sky…